It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
