you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
wow bdsm is so cute
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
