used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
