Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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