we're blogging at a bar
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
