would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
