her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize