i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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