Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
