I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
