what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
