garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
