my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize