what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
