Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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