You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
