Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
