So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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