I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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