i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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