And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
