on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
