Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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