My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
