Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize