That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Randomize
