I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
