lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
