i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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