I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
