dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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