So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
