fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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