pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Is it penis luge time yet?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
