Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
