i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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