Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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