you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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