absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
