yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
