i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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