The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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