she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
