nut hugger
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize