Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
