just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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