on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
