Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
