how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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