She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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