well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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