Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
