I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
