hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
