OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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