I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
