His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
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If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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