I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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