yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
