dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Farmville is her only friend.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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