So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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