I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I supernannyed him into submission
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