I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
